1 joke a day

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ivan
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1 joke a day

Post by ivan » 16 Nov 2011 15:22

Sibei xianz....

Bored to death in office.

How about we share some jokes?

1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

2. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and now he is going thru hell.

3. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wife wanted". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."

4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

5. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.

6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000 I swear that we will kidnap your wife." The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."

7. "What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having trouble with my wife." "What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days." "But that ought to make you happy." "It did, but today is the last day."

8. When she is 18 - She is a football, 22 men going after her. When she is 28 - She is a hockey ball, 8 men going after her. When she is 38 - She is a golf ball, 1 man hitting on her. When she is 48 – She is a ping pong ball, 2 men pushing to each other.

9. At 20 - A man is like a coconut, so much to offer, so little to give. At 30 - He is like a durian, dangerous but delicious. At 40 - He is like a watermelon, big, round and juicy. At 50 – He is like a mandarin orange, the season comes once in a year. At 60 - He is just like a raisin, dried out, wrinkles and cheap.


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lunarin79
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Re: 1 joke a day

Post by lunarin79 » 16 Nov 2011 15:28

LOL!!

I LIKE No.3!!!!
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aiken74

Re: 1 joke a day

Post by aiken74 » 16 Nov 2011 15:43

bro urs abt relationship...i rike it man.. ;)

here ish sumtin abt watches...

Three visitors to London climb up the tower that houses Big Ben and decide to have a contest. They're going to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch the watches before they hit the ground.

The first tourist throws his watch, takes three steps and hears his watch crash. The second throws his watch and takes only two steps when he hears his watch shatter.

The third tosses his watch off the tower, jogs down the stairs, goes to a candy store, buys a snack, walks back to Big Ben and catches his watch. "How did you do that?" asks one of his friends.

"My watch is 30 minutes slow."
herzausstahl

Re: 1 joke a day

Post by herzausstahl » 16 Nov 2011 15:48

What colour is spiderman?
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lunarin79
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Re: 1 joke a day

Post by lunarin79 » 16 Nov 2011 15:50

herzausstahl wrote:What colour is spiderman?
white colour :|

:lol:
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herzausstahl

Re: 1 joke a day

Post by herzausstahl » 16 Nov 2011 15:51

lunarin79 wrote:
herzausstahl wrote:What colour is spiderman?
white colour :|

:lol:
:lol: :lol:
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ivan
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1 joke a day

Post by ivan » 16 Nov 2011 15:54

herzausstahl wrote:What colour is spiderman?
是白的man

:lol:


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herzausstahl

Re: 1 joke a day

Post by herzausstahl » 16 Nov 2011 16:04

小明是喝牛奶长大。大明呢?
jaded

Re: 1 joke a day

Post by jaded » 16 Nov 2011 16:06

herzausstahl wrote:小明是喝牛奶长大。大明呢?
drink alchohol!

coz 'jiu yang da ming'
herzausstahl

Re: 1 joke a day

Post by herzausstahl » 16 Nov 2011 16:07

Spiderman 在游乐场跌倒。Who help him: Batman, Doraemon, or Superman?
herzausstahl

Re: 1 joke a day

Post by herzausstahl » 16 Nov 2011 16:09

小弟弟没穿裤跑来跑去。

猜成语!
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ivan
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1 joke a day

Post by ivan » 16 Nov 2011 16:15

herzausstahl wrote:Spiderman 在游乐场跌倒。Who help him: Batman, Doraemon, or Superman?
Batman.
蝙扶侠


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lunarin79
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Re: 1 joke a day

Post by lunarin79 » 16 Nov 2011 16:20

haha, no doubt these are funny jokes but it'll be better if we switch to Class 95fm instead of 93.3fm for most jokes/riddles,lol

some bros might nt be able to read/understand mandarin :mrgreen:

tankew tankew
Last edited by lunarin79 on 16 Nov 2011 16:20, edited 1 time in total.
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herzausstahl

Re: 1 joke a day

Post by herzausstahl » 16 Nov 2011 16:20

ivan wrote:
herzausstahl wrote:Spiderman 在游乐场跌倒。Who help him: Batman, Doraemon, or Superman?
Batman.
蝙扶侠


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No.... is Doraemon, 应为他伸出圆手。。。。

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ivan
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1 joke a day

Post by ivan » 16 Nov 2011 16:20

A girl asked her boyfriend what ABCDEFG means, the boy said: "A Boy Can Do Everything For Girlfriend." The girl was very happy. But, obviously, she forgot that there are HIJK after that:







"He Is Just Kidding"


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ivan
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1 joke a day

Post by ivan » 16 Nov 2011 16:26

A man buys a lie detector robot which slaps a person who lies. He decided to try it during dinner.

Dad: Son, where were you at noon?
Son: At school. ......*robot slaps son*
Son: OK! I'm watching DVDs with my friends.

Dad: What DVD?
Son: Toy Story. *robot slaps him*
Son: Ok! I was watching porn.
Dad: WHAT? When I was your age I didn't know what porn is. *robot slaps dad*

Mom: HAHA! He's definitely your son. *robot slaps mom*


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Yeoman

Re: 1 joke a day

Post by Yeoman » 16 Nov 2011 16:33

herzausstahl wrote:小弟弟没穿裤跑来跑去。

猜成语!
SMLJ 咯 :lol: :lol: :lol:
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lunarin79
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Re: 1 joke a day

Post by lunarin79 » 16 Nov 2011 16:35

Yeoman wrote:
SMLJ 咯 :lol: :lol: :lol:
:o :o

yeoman kor kor sho cleber!
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herzausstahl

Re: 1 joke a day

Post by herzausstahl » 16 Nov 2011 16:37

Yeoman wrote:
herzausstahl wrote:小弟弟没穿裤跑来跑去。

猜成语!
SMLJ 咯 :lol: :lol: :lol:
lol... 掉儿浪荡
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ivan
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1 joke a day

Post by ivan » 16 Nov 2011 16:37

Yeoman wrote:
herzausstahl wrote:小弟弟没穿裤跑来跑去。

猜成语!
SMLJ 咯 :lol: :lol: :lol:
Smlj.... Hokkien also count meh?


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